Imposter syndrome is real. Earlier in my career, I was offered a stretch role that was going to have important career implications for me. I was thrilled at the chance to prove myself and gain new skills.
Yet when I was offered the position, imposter syndrome reared its ugly head.
My heart was jumping to say “Yes!” while my brain was asking, “Are you sure you can do this? Are you sure you’re not setting yourself up for failure?”.
Sound familiar?
This experience has happened over and over again during my career. And, I don’t expect it’ll go away anytime soon.
Since this self-doubt happens a lot (well, to me anyway!), I thought I’d take some time to discuss strategies to help us deal with it so we can yes to the right opportunities that come our way.
I love psychology. Learning how the brain works and how our minds, emotions, thoughts and bodies are wired has influenced a lot of my work and perspective over the years.
Here’s my fast recap of the purpose of the heart and brain (not complete, not exhaustive by any means). Our brains are wired to help keep us alive and help us survive. Super thankful for that! While our hearts are connected to the essence of who we are and are the receptor centre to help us understand our environment, ourselves, our truest longings and deepest desires. While making decisions, it’s important to assess the information coming from both our hearts and our brains.
In the busyness of our culture, it’s easy to tune out the important internal messages.
So, having a practice to tune in and listen to what is going on internally is crucial. Gaining clarity on what’s inside is the first key to unlocking that decision door and making an informed choice.
While there are many ways to help you assess what’s going on internally, here’s a quick exercise I like to do when I’m in this situation. It takes about 5 minutes and can help you make massive leaps forward in your life and career. All you need is a quiet spot, free of distraction, a pen and a piece of paper.
Decision-Making Clarification Exercise
Take a moment to pause and become quiet. I like to think of this as quieting the mental noise, the to-do lists, your hungry stomach etc. Let that all fade to the background.
Consider the opportunity at hand. Think about what is being presented to you. What will it mean for your career, your finances, your relationships and your time? Write down your responses.
As you consider the opportunity, observe what is happening in your gut. Shift your awareness to your abdomen area and consider what you’re feeling and if you can put words to those feelings.
Write down what you sense. Putting pen to paper helps pin down exactly what’s going on.
Next, take a moment to pause and read what you wrote. Is there anything else that comes up as you read what you wrote? Write that down.
Now, shift your awareness to your brain. Observe what is happening in your mind as you consider the opportunity. What are you thinking? What questions arise? How do these thoughts make you feel?
Write down what you sense.
Take a moment to pause and read what you wrote. Is there anything else that comes up? Write that down.
Now, read everything you wrote and pay attention to how you feel and what you’re thinking about as you read. What is the main theme?
Consider the opportunity again. What decision makes you feel peaceful (even if you don’t have all the answers) and joyful?
What decision makes you feel stressed, tight, anxious or have rapid, shallow breathing?
What questions do you need answers to before you are able to make a decision? Who can you call to discuss your questions with? Write down your answers.
By checking in with what’s happening inside, we will gain clarity on what is going on.
It’s amazing how many insights are hovering just below the surface. But not only that, by understanding your deeper motivations, fears and perspectives, you’ll discover what to do next. Your next action could be asking more questions, doing more research, saying yes or saying no. But now, you’re making an informed decision, one that includes all the rich information from your head and your heart.
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