Networking Feels Dirty: Two Mindset Shifts to Help You Network with Authenticity
Networking is a game-changing skill that has the power to change your career trajectory. But according to research conducted by Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino, networking makes people feel physically dirty. Why? Because we all hate to feel like takers.
We know that networking is very important in the job search. Especially when 85% of the jobs are filled through networking and 70% of jobs are never posted. When you’re on the job hunt, the purpose of networking is generally to ask for a favor. Whether it’s insider information about the company or role, a chance to tap into someone’s network, or just another person to help brainstorm career alternatives, networking in the job search is about taking.
So how do we move beyond that yucky “I’m a taker” feeling and network with authenticity?
I’d like to propose two perspectives to consider; the idea of career seasons and the “pay-it-forward” principle.
After I became a mom, I realized that my career path and expectations needed to change because of my new goals as a mom. For this do-it-all career girl who actually enjoyed long hours on the job, the idea of taking a step back to focus on my family was strange and uncomfortable. However, my goals for myself as a mother outweighed this discomfort and fear of change. I had to finish the chapter of career Beckie pre-kids and turn the page to discover what career Beckie post-kids could look like.
One of the mindsets that helped me achieve this was the idea of career seasons. I told myself that this time with my kids was a season. As seasons come and go, so would this time with my kids. Soon, my kids will grow up and I’ll have more time to focus on my career.
We are ALL in a career season.
If you’re in the midst of a job search, this is a specific season of transition. Soon you’ll land a job and be out of the job search. Soon you’ll get promoted. Soon you’ll lead that big project. It’ll all happen. Rather than wishing yourself out of this season – embrace it, own it.
We all want to be able to do our part.
If someone offers us help, the natural response is to do something helpful for them in exchange. It’s a hard place to be when you feel like there’s nothing meaningful you can do in exchange. That’s why networking during the job search feels so hard. While we can say thanks, pay for coffee and offer to help by sharing knowledge or making helpful introductions, it feels small in comparison to the impact their advice and job referrals make.
That’s why it’s important to remember the pay-it-forward principle. While you may not be in a place to do something meaningful for your network today, I guarantee you’ll have a chance to do something for someone very soon.
If you take a step back and think about your 40+ year career, that’s a lot of time to do a lot of good for a lot of people.
While you may not be able to IMMEDIATELY help someone you’re networking with today, I guarantee you will be able to help someone else down the road.
Especially if you’re intentional.
So, for all my job seeker friends out there. Don’t be discouraged.
As you develop your networking strategy, send intro emails and meet for coffee, remind yourself that this is just a season. Soon, you’ll be on the other end and be able to help others make moves in their career.
Promise yourself that when the time comes you’ll do it and do it well.
My hope in writing this article is that you’ll feel encouraged and energized to shed that “yucky” feeling and network with your whole heart knowing that this is just a passing season.
With that boost of confidence, take time write down the names of 3 people who have helped you on your career journey. Spent 5 minutes writing a quick note of thanks and then press send. As you do, remember, you’re just in a season.
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